I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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