i jhust puked up my retainher.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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