Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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