Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
