ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
