Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
