I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
