Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
