That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
