Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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