Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
