I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
