You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Randomize
