this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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