see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
