im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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