Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
