return my video game
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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