Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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