You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
