I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
