Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
