What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
