Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
zippers are such a cool invention
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
