You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
