Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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