I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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