I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Randomize
