Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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