I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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