I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
