Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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