i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I need to sanitize my soul.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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