I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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