sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
