I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
wow bdsm is so cute
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
