I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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