AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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