Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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