oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
