Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
