Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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