You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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