What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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