It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
