he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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