We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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