You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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