I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
She's not a foreskin expert like you
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
