am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
