woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
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